Nursing is a difficult profession, and many nurses often face challenging situations during their shifts. There can be issues with patients, who might be aggressive, demanding, or even abusive.
Others might be depressed, anxious, or suicidal. In addition, nurses also have to deal with family members who have become angry or upset because of the patient’s condition.
These situations can cause stress and anxiety for nurses – and handling family members is usually one of the toughest parts of the job.
We looked at some simple ways to help nurses handle difficult family members, offering support and care to patients, while still taking care of those worried, concerned loved ones who may also be present.
Some of the top tips to help nurses deal with difficult family members include:
1. Communicate Clearly
For relatives of patients, hospitals can be frightening, confusing places – there are likely to be a lot of things going on that they do not understand, intimidating terminology and medical jargon, and a number of technical machines and processes that can be overwhelming.
As a nurse, it is therefore crucial that you understand what information the family needs, and that you have this information clearly and readily available to them.
Maintaining an open, honest relationship will allow the family member to feel comfortable enough to talk to you about what they are feeling, and this reduces the chance that they will bottle things up, resulting in an explosive outburst.
Take time and care to clearly explain what is going on in language that they will understand, and make sure that they understand at each stage before moving on.
It is also important to ensure that you find the answers to any questions that they have as soon as possible – this will help ensure that they feel heard and understood, and can reduce confusion and stress – emotions which, in turn, can result in anger or frustration.
2. Be Honest
Being completely honest is one of the most important parts of dealing with difficult family members. They need to know that you are telling them everything that is going on and that you are doing so because you want to help them cope with whatever issues they are facing.
This honesty does not necessarily mean that you have to tell them everything that is happening – some details can be distressing, and are best left to the doctor or consultant to explain – but rather that you should be upfront about any problems that you see arising or delays that may be occurring, and let them know that you are prepared to discuss anything that they would like to raise.
Being honest about the situation will help them feel better equipped to deal with it, and will reduce the chances of them having a negative reaction to what you are saying.
A key part of this also includes setting realistic expectations depending on the circumstances at hand; this means being able to explain why it may take longer than usual to get results back from tests, or why there may be delays in getting treatment started.
3. Listen
Another vital element when dealing with difficult family members involves listening carefully to what they say. You should try to listen without interrupting, and make sure that you understand exactly what they are saying.
If you cannot understand something, then ask them to repeat themselves, or clarify what they mean. This will ensure that you are fully aware of all aspects of the situation, allowing you to provide the best possible care for both the patient (see also ‘How Nurses Can Provide Emotional Support To Patients‘) and the family member.
When people feel listened to, they tend to relax and feel less stressed, which makes it easier to communicate effectively. The ability to listen is also crucial when talking to other staff members, as it allows you to build rapport with them, and helps to create a sense of teamwork and collaboration within the team.
This allows cohesion and stability in the care of patients – especially if you communicate family members’ concerns to other members of your team – and helps ensure that everyone feels heard and respected during a very difficult time.
4. Show Empathy
Empathy is another key aspect of dealing with a difficult family. When someone is feeling upset, they often do not realize just how much their emotions affect others around them.
By showing empathy towards them, you can show that you understand how they are feeling, and reassure them that you are trying to help.
It is important to remember that families are different, and some people find it harder to express their feelings than others. Some people may not even realize that they are upsetting others by their actions, and therefore it is vital to be sensitive to this.
If you notice that a family member is struggling emotionally, it is essential that you offer support and show plenty of empathy. Whether it is through offering reassurance or simply by listening to them, you can help them to feel calmer and more relaxed.
It is also helpful to recognize that sometimes people who are experiencing emotional difficulties may not always be able to articulate their thoughts clearly, and may struggle to explain why they are feeling the way they are.
Therefore, it is important to take note of any changes in behavior, moods, or attitudes that you observe, and seek advice from your colleagues if you think there might be an underlying problem.
5. Give Them Time
Sometimes, it can be hard for families to accept that things are out of their control. It is important to give them time to adjust to the news and allow them to process it before discussing it further.
If you try to force them into a conversation too soon, they may become defensive and refuse to talk about it at all.
6. Keep Calm
Sometimes, it can be all too easy to get frustrated with a family member’s attitude, particularly if they seem to be causing trouble for no reason. However, it is important to keep calm and avoid getting angry.
You don’t want to make matters worse, and you certainly don’t want to cause yourself stress. Instead, try to remain patient and understanding.
You can also ask members to leave the room while you speak to other family members privately.
This will ensure that you both stay calm, will prevent anyone else from hearing what you say, and can help you to focus on the issue without being distracted by outside influences.
The best thing to do when you’re faced with a difficult family member is to be open-minded and willing to listen.
As long as you are respectful and kind, you’ll be able to gain valuable information from them, and should be able to de-escalate the situation, ensuring that the family members get the information and support that they need, while still prioritizing the best interests of the patients.
Final Thoughts
As a nurse, you have a duty to care for everyone in your hospital – and this includes family members.
While it may be tempting to ignore or dismiss a family member’s concerns, this is not in the best interests of your patient and could result in disagreements, confusion, and frustration.
Instead, try to understand where they are coming from, and how they are feeling. Try to empathize with them, and respect their opinions.
By doing so, you can help them cope better with the challenges that they face, and hopefully improve the quality of life for everyone involved.